The new generation is faced with a new problem – opportunities and jobs everywhere!! This was not so for their parents. The problem they face is that there is opportunity for success no matter which career they decide to choose
The same time the competition is increasing and only the best can sustain in jobs and it is important to arrive at a clear decision on the suitable career to excel and stand apart.
As a parent it become very difficult to, navigate through the disinformation and false marketing that exist to arrive at authentic knowledge that can educate you and help you guide your child.
This guide is intended to help parent by providing the framework and process to guide their children and help them avoid the common pitfalls that best the endeavour of choosing the right career.
More than everything this guide helps parents and children have a constructive conversation and identify the right information needed to make this decision.
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Why this guide?
The teenagers go through a very difficult time with the excess of pressure socially, academically and constant close quarters monitoring.
Also with technology and the advent of misinformation through social media and marketing messages, it becomes difficult for the young minds to distinguish between what is the external world tells them and who they genuinely are.
The parents are also under great pressure to prove their abilities and realize success through their children’s success. This creates a unique meld of factors which may hinder both the parent and the child to adequately reflect and identify the right career paths.
Also at the ages of 15 or 17 the child is still unexposed to realities of life and constructive perceptions that can empower them to make the right choices.
While parents want the best for their children they are victims of the programming and the cultural trends that influence their beliefs on what will best suit their child.
The choice of priorities in life and what they value may be starkly different from their children’s and this can cause deep turbulence in homes which leads to lack of honesty in conversations which is important when deciding on a career path.
This guide for the parents to perceiving and acting in a way that allows honest concentration and working with their child to look at best options available.
Helping your Child Choose a Career Path
Discussing careers with your children can be difficult for most parents. One of the reasons is that it is a fragile subject and has to be dealt with a real understanding of the skills, aptitude and inherent talents.
The lack of the understanding on the parents’ part and lack of the proper approach dooms the entire conversation into a destructive and emotion filled ordeal for most students.
While most parent wish the very best for the child, their ego and attempts to feel successful vicariously through their child’s success and also the temptation to push the child to fulfil your expectation rather than what the child is suitable for can be a minefield of potential conflicts that may wreak havoc in the parent-child relationship and may also affect the child for life.
While it is always advisable to go a to a professional and trained career guidance counsellor, the conversation can start from home and this guide is to help facilitate that process.
This guide will assist the conversation through the right channels that may lead to finding the right career.
Making Bad Career Decisions
How does one decide on a career? How did you find your’s? Was the process scientific or through trial and error?
As parents most of us are well aware that we did not apply any scientific method but rather gravitated to jobs we liked or that was most beneficial for us for what seemed most feasible.
The only problem is that it is possible to eventually feel stuck and uninterested at our jobs and start detesting our employers and the work.
The so-called popularised Monday Blues is the reluctance to go to work. We feel as slaves rather than empowered contributors. This needn’t be so for your children. Especially in this day and age.
What does Job Mean?
Let look at it from another perspective. WHAT IS A JOB REALLY? It is a collection of tasks or activities. Any adult spends 80% of his/her life working at a job to generate an income.
Sometime the job itself can be an escape for many to keep their minds occupied and away from the daily grind of domestic and social problems that affect them.
So if 80% of the time you are working then your work should be engrossing and exciting. It should make you happy.
Does work make you happy? If not, you have a problem. You may not be at your productive best at this job nor would you invest in excelling at it.
Also if 80% of the time you are miserable then you are spending the majority of your precious life being miserable. You would never want that for your child.
How To Make The Right Career Decision
Now lets us understand the two paradigms that exist when making a career choice
Traditional paradigm
Job is an expression of your status and a path to your goal. You have to find the bests careers that will pay you the best or lead you to position of status and power and once you reach there you will be happy.
As a result of this paradigm in Indian parent is on the constant lookout on the external conditions and the top opportunities available and tries to push his or her child to pursue the best.
Hence the focus on getting in the IITs and IIMs. Since such jobs are held with great regards the pressure to go into engineering or medicine-related courses is high in India.
An examination of the J2EE as well and NEET exams pulls in millions of prospective applicants who feel that this is their sure shot path to success.
The result is that India is now overloaded with unemployed engineers and mediocre health professionals. The frenzy of doing what everyone else is doing grips the Indian parent the most.
Indian parents take it upon their shoulders to make their child’s career successful and not knowing how to do it ends up ruining the child’s motivation and independent thinking abilities which are central to any successful career.
Now let us look at the newer and emerging paradigm
Under this paradigm there is a foundation belief that people are unique and have their own innate abilities which can be utilised to generate income and also be happy and successful in their careers. It is the discovery of these innate abilities combined with the knowledge for opportunities in the environment that make the person have a successful career.
How to help your child
Now how can you help you child identify their skills and choose the right career? It requires some investigation and in depth and heart to heart conversations with your child. But given some time and adequate effort you can help your child identify career paths where the child can excel and has abilities to do very well.
You have to start on an information gathering mission where you will start gathering information about the child and document them. At all times please avoid jumping to conclusions based only on one test on one set of Data. For example your child scores high as a conventional on the Holland’s test –do not immediately jump to the conclusion that” I knew it ,he is suited for accounting”-This is an absolute misuse of the tests as you are doing nothing but using the tests to justify your hopes.
This can be the greatest danger in working with you child and if you are unable to set aside this orientation, you will ruin the effort and also the child’s prospects. In such as case you are better off getting the help of a professional career counsellor and leave the task to them.
Why and when should you approach a career counsellor?
The most important aspect about meeting a career counsellor is that emotions and prejudices can be kept aside and the child and the parent can express themselves openly without judgment or underlying agendas.
Usually the situation can become terse as the child may be starting to think independently and may not like being forced into many options suggested by parents.
This is also the age usually that the child may be rebelling against undue parent pressure. Open conversations may become difficult and under the cloud of emotions such as anger and resentment and dejection no constructive choice could be made.
In such as situation a third party who is uninvolved in all the drama and whose only focus is to get to the true understanding of what careers are best suited for that child will be of great help. When someone approaches a career counsellor they are willing to suspend their judgements and beliefs temporarily and willing to honestly understand themselves and their possible career options. Since it is a paid service there is no hidden agenda or obligations.
What is the right age to get career counselling?
In countries like the UK and the US career counsellors are engaged from 5th grade onwards to work with the students and develop their awareness and identifying skills.
In India such a concept has not caught on yet and the traditional paradigm is still strong in the culture. In India a good time would be when the child is completing the 9th standard or entering in to the 10th.
This is also the time to identify the stream to be chosen for the 111 and 12th. If this window is missed then anytime in 11th or 12th would be then next best time even though the options will become limited now.
There are many graduates who do get career counselling but that is because they feel that they do not want careers in the areas of study that they have pursued. Even though there is no need to regret, the time studying could have been spent for constructively if the career identification had been done earlier.
So what about those who are already working? Can they not come for career guidance? Is that too late?
Of course they can get career guidance as the time is always right for choosing careers which can be fulfilling. Many people undergo career transitions and job stress- a career guidance counsellor can help them
Some pitfalls that threaten the process when the parent takes charge of the process
Valuing prestige over understanding
For most parent children are representative of their success and abilities in parenting and sometimes they do not want to understanding in the fear that the prestige may be marred by following the whims of their kids.
I had an incident where one parent brought the child for assessment and guidance. The assessment and conversations revealed that the child even though good at studies did not prefer continuous learning or being seated behind a desk.
One of the career options that was revealed was in the hospitality industry. The child liked it but the parent though that it was below their dignity to work in a hotel or do jobs such as cooking etc.
Their perspective of a cook did not coincide with the upcoming career possibilities of good chefs in top hotels who are paid well and eventually move to managing rather than cooking.
The parent continuous expressed disdain for this career while the child persistently expressed desire to explore that opportunity.
Eventually, the parent was exposed to the opportunities and the dignity of the job and the possibilities and the resistance melted away. But prestiege was a great hurdle. Thinking that prestige will be affected by doing certain jobs can blind us to opportunities that are ripe for picking.
Tendency to treat the child as an extension of themselves
Most parents are guilty of viewing their children as extensions of themselves. They cannot resist thinking that just because they are good at something and a specific career worked out for them it would be the same to their child as well.
It is crucial to understand and accept that your child has a different set of talents and abilities and aspirations which may not coincide with your expectations.
A feeling that they know what is best for their child
- Lack of emotional restraint when having crucial conversations
- Lack of openness and exposure to career possibilities
- Bringing in existing baggage of relationship
Some ways to help the child
Focus on supporting child’s decisions and guiding rather than achieving on a finding as one career as best
Expose child to various career possibilities
Look to understand your child’s interests rather than push for a certain career
Allow your children to get exposure to various careers
Research with your children education and training a possibilities of various careers
Be patient and supportive
Dimensions for information gathering:
There are few dimensions that we have to get data on before we can help the child:
- . Interests
- Intelligence
- Abilities and skills
- Level of Ambition
- Academic Preferences
- Personality
- Career Values
- Ambitions and Dream
Now let’s start gathering the information on each.
What is the child’s Interests?
The primary thing is interest. In fact it supersedes even skills. Skills can be developed; interest is more innate and is intertwined with the value systems, beliefs and also the personality of the child. Identifying interests will help identify clear paths that will lead to fulfilment and success for the child.
Holland’s code that is revealed through a test devised by John L Holland –an American psychologist categorizes people according to their interests. These categories are clusters of personality characteristics revealed by the interest.
The categories identified-RAISEC as it is called, stands for Realist, Artistic, Investigative, Social, Enterprising and Conventional. If you go online and type the key word ‘Holland test career’ and variations of that you will come up with numerous tests that are free.
You can have your child take the test and identify the code. An online research on these will give detailed information on all these clusters. Below is a snippet on each so that you understand the basic charatectistics of each cluster.
Realist- these are people who have the need to work with their hands and body .They are primarily doers and prefer activity. Being in a desk job and doing only cognitive work will drive these people crazy. They need movement and action-farmers, dentists, vetenarians etc. fit in this cluster.
Artists- These are people with a penchant for design and art. Musicians, painters, interior designers, fashion designer etc. will have this as their primary cluster. They find meaning in job that has to do with design. Product designer, animation and graphic designer etc. are also jobs you may find them in.
Investigative- These are people with an skill and passion for problem solving. They like to investigate and find solutions to problems. Some of the jobs that should this people are doctors engineers, researchers, forensic investigator, analysts etc.
Social-these are people who like to help other people they find meaning in jobs that is of service to others. What drives them is not money but being of help to others. The jobs that suit these people good range from nurses social workers teachers, psychologist and activists.
Enterprising- these are people who like to persuade others.They enjoy convincing and influencing others. Some of the jobs that suit this people are Liars businesspeople sales people marketeers and even politicians.
Conventional-these are people who like to work with data they like to find information from a bunch of data that has been handed over. They are organised, prefer to work alone and can engage in detail oriented routine work. Accountants financial analyst software programmers analyst etc fall in this category.
Interpreting the test scores
It is possible that the child may score high in one of the 6 .Look at the highest scores and you will see the inclinations for example the child may have scored high in Social and the next highest in enterprising and –the next might be in Artistic. This will reveal the primary inclinations of your child. You can research on that cluster more online.
Key point
The important thing here is to look at the low scores, if the least score is in conventional then you can cross off jobs in that cluster and avoid job that need data crunching and analysis. So here you look for high scores and low scores equally trying to find out directions that you like to go and directions you want to avoid.
Multiple Intelligences
Next area to analyse is multiple intelligences now this is a Theory that was put forward by Dr Howard Gardner in his book frames of mind he said that there are seven types of intelligences so a person can be smart in many ways it is not just to studies or high marks in subjects the other ways in which people are smart and he has identified certain categories that you can look at so in his original 7 intelligences he mentions verbal intelligence visual intelligence physical intelligence musical intelligence mathematical and logical intelligence interpersonal Intelligence and intrapersonal intelligence.
Now let’s look at each one
Verbal intelligence
These are people were good at words they are word smart and can easily write and speak well. Award smart child will excel in language courses and subjects that require use of good language even though score poorly in other subjects.
Visual intelligence
These are people who have an app for designing Asian ability and can easily visualise atom symbols and arrangements they usually excel in design related fields
Musical intelligence
As the name suggest these are people who are musically inclined and have a new year for music.not all them are necessarily singers but they have an inclination for music they are able to distinguish between different tones pictures and may also be able to creatively come out with different sounds we say people who are mostly auditory and suited for jobs at a letter to the musical field
Physical Intelligence
These are people who are smart to the body their able to move and exhibit intelligence in their balance physical movement et cetera good dances actors athletes or come under this category
Mathematical and logical
Some people have a natural skill in solving mathematical and logical problems they seem to like it and they enjoy number crunching and data handling scientist researchers mathematician data analyst come under this category.
Interpersonal
Some have a natural ability to work with other people and to influence other people their natural leaders and socially adept this game is invaluable in the world and the necessity for leaders and influencers.
Intrapersonal
The people who are self directed in touch with incense they look in world and have a strong career awareness about their abilities feelings and self.
Abilities and Skills
once you get that the above information then there might be some unique everything and skills that you find in a child or a combination of them so take time to list down for example a child might be extremely good in languages and speaking to others and might have excellent ability to get things done maybe naturally Enjoy talking on the phone greeting people exception so whatever abilities and skills that you are able to identify list some down list out for offer abilities and skills of these are not always in it sometimes I learn skills for example the skill the driving other feel that something special that computers the skill that typing whatever comes to your mind write it down there will be unavailable some of the processes that matter because right nowwe are in investigation mode and collecting whatever data that presents itself to usears without judgements analyser
Academic
under which section you have to do an indepth analysis on the students performance academic what are some subjects are the student absolutely enjoys what are some subjects are the student absolutely loathe s. Is a student strong in mathematics and weak in Social Studies maybe the student is Bira strong or weak in any subject but has certain dislikes and lights not all of these dance what has been the performance in the past two years in the subjects that you have identified for example if you say that English is a strong subjectof 1 grade A receipt for may be the past two years that the student has consistently done Wellington
Social
here is where you analyse this to the child’s behaviour in a social environment does the child enjoy interacting with others are the crc keep to himself or herself more do they have a closed circle of friends or do they have a wide network are the able to make friends easily or do they struggle audible to make an impression in this pic to people are there bole to manage to say the right things at the right time and build up relationships which are beneficial to the these sre some questions you can ask to identify the students profile in a social context identifying this would allow you to decide on the type of work environment that the child with best fitting this is important for deciding a career because if the person does not like situations that involve lot of group work and teamwork and would rather be isolated and do the work independently then the standoff jobs might not be enjoyable even if it uses their abilities and skills if you cannot be as enjoyable as choosing one that allows them to work independently.
Ambitious or laid back
some people are full of ambition and they move fast they get things done fast they dream big and they achieve big while there are others who like to be left alone have a slower pace of life might not have big ambitions and big girls rather happy at the moment doing what they are currently doing and both are fine but then service in which people differ it is necessary to identify the case of your child if they are not suitable for a fast-paced and of environment then there is no use to seek jobs that will put you in such environment so this is important for choosing a job or a career no somebody who is the researcher requires time alone and like to work with their own place they cannot be had you and they might not work well when they are given very high ambition sentence and tasks that require fast face and spontaneous thinking Instagram I prefer methodical systematic approaches and the paste my be slow.
Personality
Personality is one and others important aspect that we have to analyse if we have to choose for job Gotham any personality test out there which you can administer for your channel IBM BTI or the disc profile or any of the test certificate find online this is give your basic idea of a child’s personality and lead to identify jobs that are most suitable for this personality I 240 used car loans Technologies which oscillator adopted and converted into mbps ABC apologies for.
Extroverted and introverted
Extraversion and introversion are two sides of the same coin some people get energized by other people and like company and let others you like to be solitary and I to do that this time alien isolation you don’t mind be made on the circle in towards the want to enjoy other people around are called extrusive nobody is can be fully and exporter an introvert geologist along the same line and along the line of the same continuum.
Sensing and intuitive
people who are sensing go by fax and the people were included by what they call their country. This is primarily a decision making mode that people adopt do you go by fax audible by you get free
Thinking and feeling
thinking people are people who are methodical and stick to the fax and do what is factual and logical feeling people are people who care about other people’s feelings and give that more value and this in turn affects the decision s
Judging and perceiving
judging personalities are those that are able to approach things methodically unable to stick to routine. Perceiving are those that cannot sustain routine work delite variety there more spontaneous. People form of receiving might not be cut out for long term commitment to your course of study for example 10 years of study to become a doctor. This can be a struggle for that
Career Values
ask a child to list out the top five career guidance some of the career values could include recognition success joy excitement effect. Ask you chid what is most important for them- should people recognize you?, is freedom the priority? Or is family,spirituality etc. Ask and discuss till you identify 5 areas that are absolutely important for the child and then once that is listed ask him or her to rank it on order of priority- 1 being the most important,2 being the next and so on..
Ambitions
What are the child’s ambitions ask them to list down their greater dream and ambition in a sheet of paper.
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