Discussing careers with you children can be difficult for most parents. One of the reasons is that it is a fragile subject and has to dealt with a real understanding of the skills, aptitude and inherent talents. The lack of the understanding on the parents’ part and lack of the proper approach dooms the entire conversation into a destructive and emotion filled ordeal for most students.
While most parents wish the very best for the child, their ego and attempts to feel successful vicariously through their child’s success.
There is the temptation to push the child to fulfil your expectation rather than what the child is suitable for. This can be a minefield of potential conflicts that may wreak havoc in the parent-child relationship and may also affect the child for life.
While it is always advisable to go to a professional and trained career guidance counselor, the conversation and can start from home and this article is to help facilitate that process and guide the conversation t through the right channels that may lead to finding the right career.
The underlying paradigm of making career choice
How does one decide on a career? How did you find your’s? Was the process scientific or through trial and error? As parents most of us are well aware that we did not apply any scientific method but rather gravitated to jobs we liked or that was most beneficial for us for what seemed most feasible. The only problem is that it is possible to eventually feel stuck and uninterested at our jobs and start detesting our employers and the work. The so called popularised Monday Blues is the reluctance to go to work. We feel as slaves rather than empowered contributors. This needn’t be so for you children. Especially in this day and age.
Let look at it from another perspective. WHAT IS A JOB REALLY? It is a collection of tasks or activities. Anv adult spends 80% of his/her life working at a job to generate an income.
Sometime the job itself can be an escape for many to keep their minds occupied and away from the daily grind of domestic and social problems that affect them. So if 80% of the time you are working then your work should be engrossing and exciting. It should make you happy. Does work make you happy? If not, you have a problem. You may not be at your productive best at this job nor would you invest in excelling at it. Also if 80% of the time you are miserable then you are spending majority of your precious life being miserable. You would never want that for your child.
Now lets us understand the two paradigms that exist when making a career choice
Traditional paradigm
Job is an expression of your status and a path to your goal. You have to find the bests careers that will pay you the best or lead you to position of status and power and once you reach there you will be happy.
As a result of this paradigm in Indian parent is on the constant lookout on the external conditions and the top opportunities available and tries to push his or her child to pursuing the best. Hence the focus on getting in the IITs and IIMs. Since such jobs are held with great regards the pressure to go into engineering or medicine related courses is high in India. An examination of the J2EE as well and NEET exams pulls in millions of prospective applicants who feel that this is their sure shot path to success. The result being that India is now overloaded with unemployed engineers and mediocre health professionals. The frenzy of doing what everyone else is doing grips the Indian parent the most. Indian parents take it upon their shoulders to make their child’s career successful and not knowing how to do it ends up ruining the child’s motivation and independent thinking abilities which are central to any successful career.
Now let us look at the newer and emerging paradigm
Under this paradigm there is a foundation belief that people are unique and have their own innate abilities which can be utilised to generate income and also be happy and successful in their careers. It is the discovery of these innate abilities combined with the knowledge for opportunities in the environment that make the person have a successful career.
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